The Cross Centered Life

I just finished The Cross Centered Life by C. J. Mahaney. I strongly encourage all to pick this book up. While short lived, I found its simplicity to be what my soul had desired. I have tended to turn sanctification into justification. No one is more saved than another!

I also discovered some things about Eschatology and that he backed up in my mind that it is important, but I have realized that it's already over, Christ has won; the end has already happened. The cross is the climax of all of history. Praise God. I pray that I put this book on my shelf, but not its message.

It was a Christmas filled with hospital bills

You're on the run from the moment you stop dreaming
With the devil at your heels.
Now you feel more capable of heartbreak
With the daylight at your toes.

You wear the marks of his death in your body
With the devil at your heels.
And while your wheels are spinning in the snow
You have daylight at your toes.

But there it goes, leaking through the holes and the punctures in your palm.
It was a Christmas filled with hospital bills but little daylight.

You're reaching out for the foolish gift that dangles
With the devil at your heels.
And you can feel it taking shape in your arms now
With the daylight at your toes.

But then it goes, beaming through the walls and in the eyes of all the ones around you.

It was a Christmas filled with hospital bills but little daylight.

I feel very capable of heartbreak.

Restoration from Timothy

It's good to walk in life, amen?
The past couple weeks have been great. I've experienced a lot of trial and messy conversations, but that's what I desire. The friendship I have with Chris has been restored and renewed through Christ. To see God change our hearts to burn for His power has encouraged my life more than most things recently. He's there to hold me accountable for things and I trust that Christ is providing us with cleansed hearts to be there to be uncomfortably close in accountability. It's not easy being rebuked, but we are to love rebuke (Proverbs 9:8), and "Those whom [He] love[s], [He] reprove[s] and discipline[s], so be zealous and repent. (Revelation 3:19)" I encourage all to be zealous for the fear of the Lord.
I can recall something from the sermon Daniel spoke on Sunday, which was something similar to, "We are not act then receive, but we have received, so we must act, and do so in joy." This is specifically speaking to our bursting forth in tithe, but it also is spoken in the sense of Christ and the gospel speaking and transforming all areas of our lives. Because He has given His only Son, we must give Him our lives. He was "like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth... Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him... and he shall bear their iniquities. (Isaiah 53:7, 10, 11)" He bears our iniquities so we are grateful.
Chris recently directed my thinking to 1 and 2 Timothy. A young man in charge of the church at Ephesus. This passage, to the relief of my conscience, spoke truth to me about the speaker that came last tuesday. And it's an unsettling truth, because I discern that he was a false teacher. How great he will be judged in heaven for the role he has on this earth, and I pray for his soul that he would escape that judgment and recognize his wickedness. His poor public speaking skills were the least of the worries my brothers and I had with this man. His ability to boast in himself was somewhat amazing. The main beef I had with him, was his intense lack of humility and I think that (in the words of certain people I know) is CRUCIAL for a person advocating the scriptures. It was unsettling, but my hope is that Sojourn is not heading in the direction in the wayward direction of death. Pray for us.
With God immersed in my thought, I think it's just extremely comforting (at times) to know that I have a person to care for and have as my companion through these times. I say 'at times', mainly because it is scary. A relationship? It's a big deal. I'm almost blindly embarking with Audra on this journey. I say blindly because I'm not sure what is going to happen. I've never experienced such Christ-centered interaction before from a girl and it's refreshing to know it exists. My main fear is that I'm not available to provide the appropriate amount of commitment that bursts forth when a relationship gets rolling. But I must say gentlemen, it's great. I find myself not having to provide happiness for her, for Christ fills her completely. I praise God first and love Christ first and from that flows love of unconditional purpose. Thank God for His Son, and thank God for Audra Todd.

Our Identity

As I sit here on my toilet (my apologies), I am struck at amazingly different arenas of thought. I think about community group and where I stand among the people who are within, not in the sense in which I gauge who is spiritual and who is not, well maybe I am guilty of that as well, but I sat tonight and felt very judged. This isn't a normal tendency that I have. I usually feel comfortable within my circle of brethren. I think I am still escaping the ever-present judgment of a close friend. It strikes me hard to think that I cannot feel the courage to speak my mind, but as I have said many times, my fear of man and what he thinks has become something of a burden on my motives. Also, as I strengthen my bond with Christ, I am compelled to look outward, or at least at first, which is fruitful and encouraging. Prayer centered around my Church body and friends is healthy and the necessity to look inward isn't driving my prayer as it has before, or at least, it is not the driving force behind my prayer. I am feeling insufficient. BUT I read an interesting and truth-driven explanation of an attitude that is applicable when dealing with relationships. It cut to the core of what I find very savoring;
Basically, most relationships that fail are due to a lack of identity and worship. Identity meaning who we are, not what our name is and where we live and what we do at our job, but where your heart lies and how you view yourself. This being said, we can see how we shape our identity, is how we treat people. For instance, if I claim to be smarter than you, then I will act accordingly. Any advice you give me will fall on deaf ears. If I tell myself that I think I deserve your respect, I will watch to see if you are giving me what I think I deserve. But if we change that and put our focus to the identity of the man Jesus Christ and Him living in us, we rid ourselves of these motives! We have to see our identity vertically, towards God, and not seek our identity by our relationships or anything else. And when we fail to worship God in our relationships we ascend ourselves to His throne and exhaustively try to recreate others in our own image. We strive and exert ourselves all the time to change people to the way we think we need to, but in reality we are depriving God of His power in our hearts. We turn to unbelief because we think His power is not sufficient to change our friends and family into sheep white as snow, rinsed in the blood of the lamb. We are foolish, but Jesus died on the cross, so that's okay. :)

An attempt at James:

James a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ. To the 12 tribes in the dispersion. Greetings.
Count it all joy my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him as God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
Let the lowly brother boast in his exultation and the rich in his humiliation, for like a flower of the grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat, withers the grass, its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person when he is tempted is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Do not be deceived my beloved brother. For every good gift and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.


The purple is the only part I didn't get out of verses 1-18. I need to get on my A-game. Goodnight all. God Bless.

A Mess Worth Making

"The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. (Genesis 6:5-6)"

It's important to, in the midst of duty, to familiarize yourself with the goal of your life and it's far too disgusting to see your sin in the raw and flirt with it's destruction.

Learning about the friendships that have been destroyed in my life, and seeing them in light of the Lord feels bittersweet. On one side I see the destruction I have caused, the destruction caused by others, my quickness to retaliate, misunderstandings, grudges, resentment, selfishness, self-righteousness, my inability to admit my own sin, and simply pride manifesting itself in various ways. But on the other side, I see love, I see the fruit(joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control). I see friendships deeply rooted in the power of Christ Jesus, spurring each other on to rich and deep love for one another, and I see the grace of God, perfect and complete, calling me, whom has filled His heart with pain, to a life in accordance with the will of His son, to be counted righteous through His blood.

The perfect unity of the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, was broken so that we may have life eternal. Jesus was forsaken so that we may be counted spotless. Amen to that.